Just "No." should do it.

Lately I've been cancelling several appointments. The concept of appointments is quite simple:
If you make one, you show up. I didn't (at least not as often as I should). So anyway, I know it's
bothered several people and it has most likely affected the way I'm being perceived.

It's my own fault. I'm sorry. I took some time to think about why it's like that and I've come
up with some what of an explanation. I hope you'll understand.

Imagine the following following phone call:

1: Hey whats up? Wanna go [insert activity]
2: Nah not really, don't feel like it
1: Why not?
2: Why do you need a reason? / I just don't
1: Okay fine, then don't / Oh, okay,..

Okay, this is a totally fictional conversation, but the first three lines apply to most of the
calls I get. And I don't know how to handle it. If I don't give a reason or point out that I
do not require a reason people will be offended. Not for being turned down, but because ( I
think) a valid reason is not supplied. People will have no problems with

- "No I have an apointment already at that time"
- "No I don't feel so well"
- "No I don't like it there"
- "No I can't make it in time"

But they'll be annoyed / irritaded by

- "No i don't want to"
- "No i don't feel ike it"
- "No i prefer not to"
- "No"

My choices? I either straight out lie, which i feel very uncomfortble with (and I'm bad at), I
run the risk of ticking them off and being excluded from future invitations or.. and what I do
most often, I comply.

This is where things go wrong. Because when its finally time to show up, i just cancel because
when push comes to shove, i really don't want to be there. On a few occasions i didn't even let
them know i'm not coming anymore because i don't want to force myself into lying or offending:

- "I'm not coming anymore because I just really don't wanna come"
- "My grandma died. Yes, this the seventh time. My grandpah,.. err had a harem"

I'm not saying I'm not to blame, I am. I'm just explaining my reasoning. I'll try to say "No"
more often, I'm sorry. I'm aware that i've wasted other peoples time and efforts. I'm sorry.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------